Okay so it’s been a while since I posted. In my defense, leave me alone already! All my stuff got hacked, I got into a car accident and, like many others, have been in hiding. Turns out the Earth is trying to kill us. And I’m like, “What’s your problem, space ball?” *Puffs cigarette, revs engine.

Anyway, please excuse my absence. Or don’t! You don’t own me. I don’t think. If so, you are doing a terrible job. How long do you think I’ll last on just eating Pringles? I’ll bet you didn’t even read the manual. How am I supposed to make it past 50?

Just kidding. I wouldn’t listen to you anyway. It’s just easier for me to escape accountability if I blame you. It’s a coping mechanism. Don’t take it personally (even though it’s ultimately your fault). It’s not a reflection on your poor skills, but more of a spotlight.

Okay that’s enough about your failings. I feel better now so we can move on to your virtues. For example, you have excellent taste in blogs. Kudos. You’re also great at finding the best places to go, like Serendipity Park. I mean, you are nailing it, Bro-ham! (Or Sis…ter. Sorry I don’t know what suffix to use. Sis-ham sounds wrong to me. Sis-tacular?)

So what’s so great about it? Everything, basically. Forget the 40 plus acres of wooded beauty, or the walking trail leading to the gorgeous creek. Forget the 8 awards earned for the friendliest park in the country. Forget the friendly staff, pool, gym, on-site diner and regularly scheduled activities (games,karaoke, dancing, billiards…) Wait, don’t forget about that stuff. It’s very good stuff. And it’s now gearing up. All that’s required to make it even better is you.

Now I don’t do this for everyone because it really is difficult. I have to open another tab, copy a link, press a button, paste it… ugh. So tired. But here. Because it’s you. The calendar.

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