Dust Off That Bucket List

So I’m watching the news and decide to change it because, as is always the case on the news, the world is ending. This disrupts all my plans for the day and I don’t want to hear it right now.

I then randomly hit some buttons and landed on CSPAN2. Huh? For when you can’t pack in all the excitement on CSPAN? Well, we are in interesting times.

So what are they talking about? Killer robots. Killer. Robots.

Back in my earlier blog days, I said this day was coming, but I didn’t mean it! Holy cow! It was just some jokes, people! I like movies! Stop it with the whole killer robot thing already!

I hope Will Smith and the boys are on this. And that John Connor hasn’t been eliminated by a Terminator sent from the future. (If I were a robot, I’d send one back every day. “Send this one to 1984, February 13th at 6:54 a.m., then send another one a minute after. And a minute before. You know what? Let’s send one every minute. Can we send 8? Let’s do that.” Ugh.)

Remember that bucket list? Get. On. It.

Here’s where I’m at with it. I don’t like taking out the trash, so I doubt I’m going to be much help. When the fast food restaurants close, I’ll be dead shortly after. (I wouldn’t advise eating me. There can be no nutritional value in what’s left.)

If you want to fight it out, get yourself an EMP and some big magnets. Guns only make them angry and heighten your threat level. Leave me out of it. If I can, I’m going to make a deal with them and turn on you. I’m telling you that because we’re friends.

But forget all that. We’re not there yet. I don’t think. Whatever. My point is, run around naked in the sun while it’s still shining! We’re going to have to take it out when the machines convert to solar power. Unless we decide to not become batteries.

I’m on the fence about that. It doesn’t sound a lot different from what I do now and I won’t even have to feed myself. Again, this all comes down to the deal I’m able to make when I turn on you. Until then, keep me informed on the location of the rebel base. I’m cool.

In all seriousness, remember that bucket list?

If you’re not alarmed, it’s just because you haven’t learned that something is an emergency when I become aware of it and notify you. Then you’re supposed to get on board and do what I want, which is go to Serendipity and enjoy yourself now before you’re kindly asked by piece of metal to get onto a bus for relocation to a “safer place.”

I’ll be like, “Yes, sir. By the way, I have some info on that guy over there you’ll want to know.” Then I’ll nod in your direction. Just play along and nod back. I got you.

 

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