Happy Birthday, Mom! (But They Don’t Want You To Be Happy.)

Some kids make macaroni art. I make sentences. Happy Birthday, Mom!

That’s right. And what did she get? Well, she got that sentence above AND her power came back on yesterday! Nothing says I love you like A/C in Florida.

Serendipity was also hit by crushing winds and power outages, but as usual, the crew, residents and guests came together to make the best of it. That’s just the Serendipity way. I’d rather be there without power than most places with power.

For example, yesterday I was at the Department of Driver Services. Full of power. Lights everywhere. Sucked.

I got there 15 minutes before it opened, and fortunately, only one other person was there. And by the time it opened, 20 people were lined up behind me. I kind of felt sorry for them. (Because I kept mocking them for being late. “Early bird gets the worm!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”  The guy in front of me was much more gracious, so I didn’t have to hear his b.s. I can’t stand a gloater.)

But alas, the excruciating 18 minutes I had to stand at the desk is over and I can go back to… to… Whatever I feel like doing when I feel like doing it, which isn’t a lot, but enough to keep me from doing things I don’t want to do. Life can be pretty exhausting.

For those who view me as irresponsible, lazy and undisciplined, I say to you, “You are very observant. Please make me a sandwich.” The ball is in your court.

Just kidding. You don’t have to make me a sandwich. Not yet, anyway. You don’t even know what I like.

Pretty much anything with roast beef, but not the pre-packaged kind. I like it cut off that big, glorious chunk of cow behind the glass.

It should also have tomatoes, but thinly sliced with love.

Onions are tricky. Too many and they overpower the sandwich. Too little and it’s missing something (more onions).

Lettuce? I’ll leave that up to you. It adds some color and texture, though I’m not convinced we’re meant to eat it. Scientists are wrong all the time and that’s one of my many bones to pick with them. (Mmmmm…. Bones.)

Lastly, condiments. This is very important. Oil and vinegar, a little salt, and of course, a healthy dose of mayo. I’d say about twice what the normal person eats.

Now that you know how to do it, you have no excuse not to. I’ll wait here.

(Elevator music…)

I see you’re going to be difficult about this. Whatever. I’ll make my own, but it won’t be the spectacular sandwich I’ve just described. That’s on you. I’d think you’d be a little more agreeable on my mom’s birthday. Few things make that woman happier than seeing me eat delicious, free food.

Despite your disobedience, I’m going to do you a solid. First, there’s still some time left for the lizard in you to bake in the sun. However, if you are more like me and don’t have an internal lizard that enjoys being cooked, now is your time of year.

Once the leaves start changing and the air turns chilly, in my opinion, there is no better time to be at Serendipity. It’s simply breathtaking, and there are plenty of ways to stay warm (fire pit, hot tub, sauna, roast beef… Pick your pleasure).

While for many the summer months are ideal, there’s something magical about enjoying a crisp, cool night fireside under the clearest sky you can imagine. Those are the kinds of moments you remember for a lifetime (like many you’ll experience there).

So now that you owe me for that whole sandwich debacle, the least you can do is go experience this. If not for me, for mom.








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