The World Is My ___________

Last night was karaoke night, but I didn’t go. I wasn’t feeling great, and I certainly can’t lay down my rendition of “Bad To The Bone” with a tummy ache.

So what did I do? I watched a movie and fell asleep at some absurdly early hour. Which made me wake up at an absurdly early hour. So now I’m bored and thought I would do this. Lucky you.

“Wow, Mayo, we can’t wait to hear the thoughts your boredom inspires.” I know.

It’s not that there’s nothing to do right now. I’m sure there’s a group at the clubhouse having coffee right now. I would be there, but my chair is here.

I also can’t annunciate… what do you call them… “words” before 9 am (PDT) and especially not before I’ve had my weight in coffee.

Anywho. What were we talking about? That’s right. My chair. So comfortable. I might glue it to my back today.

One of the greatest things about this place is whatever your mood, there’s something for you.

Like, if I want to go hang out in the sun today and play games, I can do it. On the other hand,  if I decide to go get some industrial strength adhesive and permanently attach myself to furniture, that’s well within my grasp.

The world is my oyster. So I guess I’m trying to figure out what to do with my oyster today.

Wait. I don’t want to live in an oyster. That’s a horrible reference. It’s like the liver of the sea. I’m coming up with a new one.

The world is my Kit Kat.

Ok that’s good. I’ll be using that one moving forward. I’d advise you to go this way, though you can stick with that oyster crap if you want. It doesn’t even make sense.

I mean, I get the pearl thing, but do you think a pearl is happy living in an oyster? I’d rather live in a shark or something. That’s good eating. Oysters filter impurities from the sea water, or more scientifically, sea dookie. That’s a pearl’s house.

And then its best hope to get out is being sold into jewelry slavery. No, thank you. You be a stupid pearl. I live inside a Kit Kat now. Beat that.

There is a Petanque tournament today and also a possibility I’ll participate. It’s really up to the glue and whatever humidity factors come into play with curing time, etc. I’m not really big on instructions so we’ll just have to see how it plays out. I’m sure the guy at the store will know.

I can be pretty handy, but I’ll admit, this project will test even my skills.


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