Thanks, But I’m Ok Right Here

When I arrived at Serendipity Park last week, I was so excited to be here. Despite some broken pipes and my lack of forethought, it wasn’t long before my troubles melted away.

The couple of weeks prior I had been considering a job offer, but unfortunately, like many companies, they have an office and expect you to walk into it. The nerve. I think the biggest problem with the modern business model is that you are required to show up, wear clothes, talk to other people about money stuff and clients and PLFFFFFFFTTTTTT. What a snoozefest. No wonder people suck. (Not you.)

It’s a great job offer and would probably secure my financial future. It’s one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities and something I thought I wanted for years. I knew I needed to think long and hard about it, so I decided to wait until I got here to make the decision. It took me about an hour. No thanks.

What swung me were a few things, in this order:

I want to be here this Summer!

I don’t want to be in an office!

Ok so just 2 things, but they were enough. I realized that I’m already living my lifetime opportunity. I’m one of the luckiest men I know.

I don’t need a lot of money. I don’t need a lot of hassle. I need a lot of Netflix, because there are some really good shows on there. I’ve been watching this one for about the last ten hours. Do you think Mr. Boss-man would let me watch Netflix for ten hours? Well we’d find out, wouldn’t we? Uh huh.

What a lot of people don’t know about me is how childish I am. Well, I mean all the people who know me know it, but there are a lot of people I don’t know.

I like fun and things that are fun, so I’m just going to try to do those things and let the not fun things be done by the people who do that stuff. It’s not like I’m asking them to. As far as I’m concerned, we can all stop. I can live off the land (as long as it has a Wal Mart on it).

Ok, ok. I do things that are not fun. I know we all have to. I just try to do as few of those things as possible. You could agree, you could disagree, you could put on a little hat and riverdance. My point is that it’s your business and I won’t judge you (at least not out loud or when you’re around).

Where is all this going? I don’t know. How it works is I say to myself, “Hey you should write a post.” Then I reply to myself, “You write it!”

“Hold on, Mister! What’s with the attitude?”

(gives finger)

“That’s just great. Fine.”

And here we are. It’s the process.

A lot of people wonder how I do make a living and I get asked quite a bit. My answer is always the same: Human trafficking. I’m telling you, it’s the future.

Hey I said I wouldn’t judge you and I would appreciate the same in return. Not everything is about you.

Of course, I’m kidding. It’s in the show I’ve been watching. Trading people is wrong, or at least it feels like it. Would you believe people pay me to write things? I know. Chumps. I can’t even read good. I mean, “goodness.”

Please stop getting me off point. What I’m trying to tell you is how awesome this place is. The opportunity of a lifetime can’t even peel me away. I think that says more about this place than anything else I can say.

Get ready for one awesome Summer.

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