Start Your Naked Engines

Start your naked engines! (I’m not sure what that entails, but I just mean get ready to run around naked in the woods.)

Each year around this time, everyone starts gearing up for what always promises to be a hugely entertaining season. It simply never fails.

I, myself, can’t wait to get there. I’d already be there if not stricken by illness.

The good news is I’m taking four different medications that cause drowsiness or dizziness.  I’m not even sure I’m writing this.

In fact, I might be there and not even realize it.

Hey, everyone at The Dip, have you seen a 3-wheeled golf cart with a homemade backseat and a big umbrella sticking out of it driving around in circles?

Are you finding potato chip crumbs in dark corners where there normally wouldn’t be potato chip crumbs?

Have you seen any homemade signs that say, “Beware: There Are Monsters In The Bushes”? (I’ve been putting those up everywhere lately, because there are.)

If you do see any of these things, someone please come throw some food on my porch and run away.

I’d recommend you do it during the day. They come out at night to eat the translucent rabbits.  And by “They” I mean… Something. I don’t remember.

What were we talking about? It must not be important. So what are you doing?

Before you tell me, don’t. Ha! I love that one. And you always fall for it.

So like I was saying, it’s time to run around naked!

I can’t run yet, but I can limp naked. And if you’re wondering what’s wrong with me, I really don’t like complaining about my issues on the internet, but I’ll consider this a PSA:

Shingles sucks.

I’m young to get it and, in my case, it was likely triggered by something mechanical in the spine. Doctors really don’t know what can trigger it, but as most know, if you’ve ever had chicken pox, it lives in your nerves.

Most people get it in their mid-back. I got it in my neck and face. The result was facial paralysis on the right side, which I’ve been dealing with for the last 4 months.

It’s improving rapidly and I’m recovering, but then it came back on my hip and thigh. It’s awesome.

As Terry Bradshaw says (and all others who’ve had Shingles), it HURTS!

I’m not a doctor, but… Wait… Am I a doctor? I’m wearing a stethoscope and there are latex gloves everywhere. Huh.

Anyway, I’m sorry. What were we talking about? That’s right. You were about to make an appointment.

Just click here to do that.

Ha! I love that one. And you always fall for it.

As I was saying (not in this post, but to a stranger in the parking lot at Ponderosa), you should never, ever trust a cat wearing a fur turban. You’d think that would be a given.

With that, we’d love to see you out at the park! It truly is one of the more beautiful places in the entire country.

And when you’re not basking nude in the sun, local attractions (such as Helen, GA) are less than a fifteen minute drive away.

Even if you’re planning a trip to Helen, the park has excellent accommodations at extremely reasonable rates.

Suite-like cabins, RV lots and camp sites are all available, and the only thing missing is you. (And maybe a giant pile of chocolate chips, but I’m currently composing my 32nd email to management about it. Keep your fingers crossed. And if you’re not with me, you’re against me. Remember that.)

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