Happy New Year From Me!

I hope everyone had a good Christmas and New Year, even though I know everyone didn’t.

I know because I have had sucky Christmases. So if you had a sucky Christmas, I am sorry.

How’s that for an upbeat beginning? Let me start over.

Actually, I’m allowed to be uncheery now. Christmas is over. This is the time of year we get to complain about what a crappy year last year was and how we get a fresh start.

We’re working on our lists of things we’d like to correct about ourselves. Some of us made a list of things we’d like to correct about other people.

Some of us are very lazy and don’t make lists, because lists are boooooooooooorrrrring and make us want to take a nap.

Even the thought of composing such a list might make us want to watch a Van Damme marathon while licking our palms free of the tasty collage of supposed “won’t melt in your hands” candy coating.

Some of us might even get a stain on our favorite blanket and curse everything, then vow to sue the company for false advertising.

We might even envision the courtroom battle, our favorite blankie in a bag marked “exhibit A” and the ferocious lawyer we hired who also happens to have a ponytail, which at first unnerves us until we realize he’s so good he can have any kind of haircut he wants.

Before long we hear, “Judgment for the plaintiff for 862 million dollars.”

Then we’re on our yacht, watching a Van Damme marathon and licking candy off our palms.

So how is your 2015 going so far? Wait. Before you answer, tell someone else. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that there’s this thing on I’ve been waiting to see since I saw the preview a few minutes ago.

Just kidding. I do want to know, so just click here and start talking into your microphone.

How’s mine going? Well let me tell you all about it.

It’s going ok. Let’s move on.

The more important question is, “What’s going on at Serendipity Park this year?”

And the answer is, “Lots of stuff!”

In fact, more things are going on through the winter months than ever before.

Games, parties, giant inflatable cartoon characters*… You name it. And if you have any special requests, click here and tell your microphone.

(Just in case the message doesn’t go through, you might want to also call 888-NUDE-ONE.)

What many don’t realize about Serendipity Park is the vast amount of indoor space where you can play naked.

Dancing, karaoke, billiards, air hockey, even foosball. (Though you REALLY have to be careful with foosball. I consider this the most dangerous sport on the planet for a naked person.)

Then you have the huge hot tub, sauna, hot showers everywhere… It’s almost as if someone designed a place where people can still have nude fun when it’s -30.

I guess what I’m saying is that the cold sucks and, while many are hunkering down, waiting for it to end so they can peek their heads out and start having a good time again, why wait?

The fun can be had right now.

* Must bring your own giant inflatable cartoon characters.

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