On Monday morning, this place was jammed. It was just after 9 am and the pool area was already packed with people.
The parking lot had been overflowing since Friday evening and you could tell everyone had an amazing time. I, however, spent a good bit of the weekend doing chores and crap, because I am lame. But that’s all about to change.
You see, I was perusing craigslist Sunday morning because I have a problem with… wanting things, particularly things with wheels. Such an item would jump off the page and say, “Please come get me.”
Don’t worry, my new friend. I will find you.
Before you know it, I’m borrowing a truck and trailer from some awesome people (thank you, awesome people), yadda yadda yadda, I find myself driving home with a golf cart for daddy. (I’m daddy, in case that was confusing.)
Because I am the dumbest man alive, I went on faith the cart would run after an overnight charge. You’re probably asking, “Wait… you didn’t see it run, Mayo?”
Shut up! You’re not my mom!
So I spent most of Sunday evening and the overnight hours anxiously awaiting the results of, “Will Cartman run?” (His name is Cartman. Fortunately I have access to a vehicle naming genius. Wait until you meet RV Keitel.)
When my eyes opened the next morning, I was like a kid at Christmas. I popped up, ran outside and unplugged Cartman to see him go. But… he didn’t go. He just sat there… like… like… a broken golf cart. So I shook my fist at the heavens and went inside to make some coffee.
After some caffeine and with a calmer head, I opened the laptop and Googled the issue:
My mother#%@!$#@ golf cart won’t work! I hate it!
No relevant results. Calm down, Mayo. The computer won’t help you if you shout at it. Try to be more polite.
Stupid golf cart won’t go.
Ok. That worked. Lots of results for this one. Uh oh. This one says I’ll need tools and some kind of knowledge. Ugh. I pressed the pedal. What more do these people want from me? Forget it. I’m gonna try pressing the pedal again.
Amazingly, and I don’t even know what I did differently, Cartman sprang to life, as did my heart.
I immediately hopped in and took him for a lap around the park. People were waving, smiling, congratulating me, and like any proud daddy would be, I was smiling from ear to ear. It was time to cut loose, footloose, kick off the Monday shoes.
When I arrived at the clubhouse the party was still going strong. Sure, there were a bunch of people with glazed eyes who were unable to have a conversation, but people were still laughing, playing water volleyball, basking in the sun and just having a great time. I was looking for excuses to drive around the park.
Me: Hey, you want to go into the woods and see where that trail leads?
Stranger: Who are you?
Me: Oh, sorry. I’m Mayo. Want to go for a ride?
Stranger: Ummm… no thank you.
After one of the best days I’d had in a long time, I retreated to my box and took a long summer’s nap. The next day was spent driving around the park, waving to people, being places I usually don’t go… yesterday, I went to the clubhouse twice for no reason at all. I just walked into the office and said, “Hey man” to Stuey, because that’s what I say to Stuey when I see him.
As he sat there after a long day of work (which came after running an almost 4 day party from bell to bell), I realized what a wussy I am. After one day I was wrecked and all I did was play water volleyball and drive around in circles. I’m sure this is why when Stuey left the party Monday he was given a huge round of applause for delivering another awesome holiday weekend.
Out of any place I’ve ever been, I’ve never seen more people smiling simultaneously. I know I haven’t been everywhere, and I’m good with that. I just want to be somewhere awesome, and that’s exactly where I am.