Hey There’s A Naked Guy Walking Around!

It’s been a long winter. No longer than the usual winters, but each one seems longer. It’s actually been pretty mild but I’m a wussy and part of that role involves complaining about how cold it is. That’s coming to an end very soon.

Despite the chilly weather, people still come to hang out with friends and relax in a peaceful setting. There have also been several beautiful days over the past few months and people here to enjoy them.

But I’ve been a little reclusive over the past couple of months (years). I try to get to the clubhouse once or twice a month for any of a variety of events. But because I am a weak-willed wussy, I’m certain I would be bumming cigarettes in a matter of minutes, being rejected, making a bee-line for the vending machine, being tackled… it’s a whole thing. I also don’t like to go outside too much when it’s below 58 degrees (aka freezing temperatures).

The point I’m trying to make here is that it has been months since I’ve seen naked people walking around outside. I know it’s happened a hundred times at the clubhouse and pool all winter long, but since the clubhouse is not in my living room or at Walmart, I almost forgot where I lived. This is why when I saw a naked man outside of my window this morning, my first reaction was,

“Hey that guy’s naked! You go, naked guy!”

Then I thought, “Oh yeah! I can do it, too!”

Then I thought, “Screw that! It’s like 55 degrees right now!”

Then I thought, “Who is that guy? There’s no way a human could take these temperatures without clothes. Is he a Terminator? Did he just show up here in a ball of lightning? Is he going to want my sunglasses and leather jacket? Maybe I should just go give them to him. Then again he might be here for me. Should I run? I wonder if it’s one of the melty ones.  I could never outrun one of those. Do you think it’s possible I might be the one who leads the rebellion against the machines and this particular Terminator was sent back by future me to protect the present me? That would mean another one is on his way and we have very little time. I should probably gather some things.”

By this time, the disrobed man outside was clearly becoming uncomfortable when we both realized I was staring at him through my window. Little did he know I was lost in formulating a strategy on how humans would overtake the machines and rebuild society, his crucial role, and how eventually he would be crushed by a helicopter but it simply couldn’t happen any other way.

(When you spend a lot of time alone, it’s important to have an active imagination.)

So yeah. Here comes the warm weather!! With that, water volleyball, frisbee, horseshoes, other games I can’t spell, one has a “q” in it, petanque, I think, I could look it up but I’m lazy, and a variety of outdoor activities. The weekend nights are some of the best parties you’ll ever attend, and the days in between filled with fun or relaxation.

One of the guests here once said to me, “You live where I come to vacation.”

Yeah. It is pretty damn cool.

This past weekend was the Travelites sponsored Chili Cook off and country music star Doug Stone apparently rocked the house later that night. I was in Florida yelling at bad drivers. No matter, St. Patrick’s Day is coming and I’m ready to get down.

And by the way. Today is gorgeous and so was yesterday.


4 responses to “Hey There’s A Naked Guy Walking Around!

  1. aguywithoutboxers

    Although I despise cold weather, I do enjoy s’naked activities and games.

  2. Dear Lord, I see your berries! Cover them up! lol Just kidding.

  3. I’m a single “Sr. Citizen,” nudist, looking for others “in my boat,” to hang out with and enjoy companionship, etc.
    I would appreciate your replys. (I’m in midwest GA.)


    • Hi Gerald. Sorry I’m just replying here, but I’m sure if you come here you will instantly meet like-minded people and leave with a ton of friends. I highly, highly recommend it!

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