The Green Nudist

If you’ve ever been camping, or even if you haven’t, you should try it for ten months.

I never thought I would live in a box on wheels, but I do. I never thought I’d have to walk outside to a bathroom I made with scrap wood and a tarp. I never thought I’d have to turn off my heat to turn on my microwave, wash my dishes outside, or confine my life to an area the size of most people’s kitchen. It is so awesome!!

Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like box.

Obviously, the location is important. I live in the greatest place ever. This box on wheels would suck if it were in a rest area, or a parking lot, or jammed next to a thousand other metal boxes in an rv park somewhere.

Right now I’m sitting in my robe, Mount Yonah outside my box window, and “Rhinestone” on my tele… Rhinestone? I didn’t dream this movie? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Wow!! Hold on this is a good part.

Man. Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton are probably the most underrated comedy duo in history. And Sylvester Stallone singing country music! This is why I have HBO.

Ok, back to work. So we’ve established that I live in a box. Check. The man who built it meant it to be a completely self-contained unit you can just park in the woods.

It has a windmill that is used to recharge two car batteries. One is supposed to power the inside, one runs the recirculation pump on the hot water heater. The solar panel heats the water.

When the wind blows close to hurricane force, the windmill will spin. I think it’s meant to spin while being towed, and assuming you have a tractor-trailer, you can pull it wherever you like.

I could talk about it all day, but I’m not going to. Just another few minutes.

Yesterday, a couple of friends and I looked at the solar water heating system. Let me rephrase: A couple of friends of mine actively tried to decipher it while I looked at it. My understanding is that hot water is supposed to come out of it, and that’s my only understanding.

I’m told the sun is the magic behind the whole operation, hence the word, “solar”, which is not the name of a super hero (as previously thought).

One friend has been studying schematics on the internet for a month and has found nothing like it. The new man on the project is a certified nuclear mechanic. (“Nuclear” would also be a good name for a super hero.)

As they stood there throwing around jargony technical terms like “hose” and “water pressure”, I stood perplexed, but also thanking my lucky stars I have friends that will happily spend their time to help me, and that also know what sunlight does. This is exactly the kind of help I need.

There are many things that amaze me about this place, but more than anything, it’s the friends I’ve made, the people they are and the sense of community you find here. If you’re an outsider looking in, you can never know what it feels like to be a part of something like this.

The warmth is back, the pool is open, the nudist park is bustling with happy people who come here to forget about the world outside. It’s a place where nuclear mechanics, police, preachers, plumbers and polymer chemists come to forget how they’re defined out there, and just come here to be.

If you told me a year ago I would be standing in a nudist resort, outside my box made of sticks, discussing the intricacies of my solar plumbing system with a naked nuclear mechanic, I would have thought you were the crazy one. But here I am, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.


2 responses to “The Green Nudist

  1. As all the post before, this one is remarkable as the others with one exception. This post thrust forth the positive attitude of nudist and their surroundings. What is important to us is not a big expensive car, a huge 26 room house or a Rolex watch. What is important to us is REAL friends, natural surroundings and being at peace with the world. Your humble home is better than that 26 room mansion because in your home you are yourself and not a puppet on a string for someone you owe your life to so you can pay for that mansion.
    Live long, prosper and stay nude my friend.

  2. You just gave me an idea for a comic book about a superhero called Rhinestone who gets his powers from the sun and the wind

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