My first time nudist experience was last May, or what I call early Summer. We can argue all day about the official dates, but I’d prefer not to talk to anyone who likes to argue about seasons.
It’s been a long Winter and while the trees are still bare, the stupid bees are here. Sure, we can argue all day about the importance of bees, their life-giving pollen and all the rest, but I don’t like to talk to people who argue about bees.
I probably used to be the type of person who would argue about bees or seasons, or football or… pretty much anything. But now I find it was a waste of time, that winning the argument meant… what exactly? Me being right? You being wrong? Do I get a hat of pride if I win? Do I get to put a hat of shame on you if you lose? And then what? I laugh at you for being wrong? You praise me for being right?
I think you get my point. I might still be interested if there was a cool hat involved, but there’s not, so I’m just going to walk around naked while you argue about bees and seasons.
It’s been a while since I could hang outside in the nude. I think I forgot I lived in a nudist park. It’s like the time I almost went to Wal Mart without pants on, sort of… not really. Just had to work that story in somewhere. It seemed relevant when I wrote it. I’m not sure now, but whatever. I can do what I want to.
Technically, I’m not even sure it’s Spring, but what did I say about that season arguing thing? Don’t make me pull this car over. I’ll do it.
Anyway, I went for a run (clothed) and when I returned, I was sweaty and hot. I had just walked inside my cabin (box), looked over at my air conditioner and thought, “I wonder if that thing still works?”
I know what you’re thinking, “That’s a riveting thought, Mayo.” And at the time, I was thinking the same exact thing.
There I stood, riveted by my thought.
After several minutes of being riveted and uncomfortable, I said to myself, “Hey! You should take off your clothes, dumbass!!”
That’s two riveting thoughts in a row! I thought my brain was going to explode. I almost never get two in a day, much less minutes apart. I’m clearly on a roll, that’s why I decided to write today. I am firing on all cylinders, which I understand is how a car engine works. I’m one of those that’s working correctly. (As you can see, I am a metaphor engine on high octane rocket fuel. Vrooooommmm!!!)
I’m not on drugs. This is life I’m high on, people. This is me celebrating the rebirth of flowers, stupid bees, leaves and sunlight on my naked ass.
So I took off my clothes, walked outside, stood there naked for a few seconds and cursed those stupid bees. They make me nervous and I think it sucks they are so vital to nature. What’s with the stingers? I mean, are they really necessary? Is It fair? I don’t think so. Why don’t I have a sharp, poisonous tip somewhere? Is it because I would use it too much? Probably. I get it. Question withdrawn.
Other than the bees, it was awesome letting the warm sun wash over my entire body. I had almost forgotten the feeling and was reminded of how relaxing it is to be in the nude and outside. It’s like being on vacation, if only for a few minutes. And even with the stupid bees, it’s moments like those when I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have my little slice of heaven in the mountains.